If It Makes You Happy

 

Long Weekend

So, like, whatcha doing for the long weekend? No definite plans for yours truly, but goddess bless my best girlfriend in her upcoming ordeal.

Tiff: nick wants to go to harper’s ferry for a war reenactment this weekend. god help me
me: he wants to participate in it? or just watch it?
Tiff: what diff?

me: do you have to dress fake wounds and wear a hoop skirt? wait. which war?
Tiff: eat me. you are asking all the wrong questions
me: well, it would be cool if it were like the Crusades and you could play an infidel and stab christians in the armpit with your sword. nick could be your camel steed

Tiff: were you dropped on your head?
me: so we don’t know which war?
i’m trying to find the silver lining here luv, work with me

Tiff: he’s like let’s go to the beach. i’m like, it is memorial day. the beach will be a zoo and this is what he comes up with
me: i’m sorry. i’m guffawing at my desk like a. well. like a camel
Tiff: this could just be a ruse to kill me on a battlefield. they won’t discover it is a real death for days

me: go overeat somewhere yummy and then go watch Shrek 3 or something
Tiff: it will be fine
me: maybe you could be the camp follower woman slut who walks behind the army and gives comfort to all the menz at night in the tents. hot

Tiff: i have to go book a hotel in WV now
i’ll be back
me: you won’t sleep on the field?
WHAT WAR?
Tiff: eat me. look it up

So I did, and this is what she is in for. . .

*The Harper’s Ferry Reenactment is a Live Action Role Playing (LARP) event. Each player in the event is given a character to portray. Each character has her/his own goals and personality.*The Harper’s Ferry Reenactment can accommodate between 40-60 players; 19 raiders and 21-41 cast members.
*The Harper’s Ferry Reenactment will last for 20 hours, from 8:00 PM on Friday until 4:00 PM on Saturday. However, combat and strategic movement will only be possible for 12 hours; in order to allow players who wish to sleep uninterrupted to do so, a “time out” from combat and strategic movement will be called between the hours of 1:00 AM and 9:00 AM.
*All combat will be presented by the throwing of foam “boffer” projectiles (beanbags), and by the use of foam and pipe “boffer” hand-to-hand weapons. All weapons will be supplied or approved by the GMs.

With All Their Gods

In DELIVERANCE, you should stay away from many things because of the ORIGIN. In the PAISLEY PRINT PATTERN, you have a connection with:
CATHOLICS
THE COUNTRY OF INDIA (WITH ALL THEIR GODS)
GOAT HAIR (GOAT IS THE SYMBOL FOR THE DEVIL)
MUSLIMS
PRAYER RUGS
JESUITS
CULTS
SEERS
MAGICIANS
OCCULT

Looking at the rest of our website, you will find out why you should get rid of anything that could be bringing in more demons into your home and your body.

You Should Be Dancing, Yah

The boyfriend and the housecat are both about equally fascinated when my toons in World of Warcrack dance.  For your edification, here is where the various races and genders stole their moves.

School Sucks

Grad school for free seems like a grand idea, until you realize you still pay the price of having to spend time studying, instead of doing fun stuff like this year’s Bay to Breakers.  I’m super glad everyone had a great time.

Fuckers.

Pretty Ricky

Have no doubt that one Crazy D is spanking his monkey to this amped up example of chocolate nambla goodness as we speak.

Island House

One of my many roving pervs took to Key West and brought back pictures, stories, and a slow burn when he pees.

He writes:

So I thought you’d want to know about my vacation this week, a trip to Key West, FL AKA the Conch Republic (pronounced Konk, for us southerners who have learned to read but don’t know the right pronunciations).

I went with my ex and my best friend and we stayed at Island House, “the best gay men’s resort in the world”. We check into the room, pop on the tv to the guest house’s infomercial channel, and immediately my buddy says ‘I think there’s a man’s schlong on tv’. Of course there is, its Island House! Their tour of the facilities, even on the video, involves naked eye candy.

Once you’re in the front door (buzzed in of course), the entire facility is clothing optional. Nobody explains to the fat people to keep their clothes on, or to the hot boys to take theirs off, so usually it’s not that great. It does mean you can go from lunch wearing a towel at the pool to a naked swim in the cement pond without too many people raising an eyebrow.

So besides the obvious cruising done around the pool, there’s a gym, locker room, two hot tubs, a sauna and a steam room. Oh, and let’s not the forget the tv room upstairs, which the locals call the ‘culture room’. With six monitors showing assorted porno flicks, a few cubbyholes, one gloryhole, and a few trolls; its just like a mini-bathhouse. Motel 6 wishes they had it so good!

Key West itself is lots of fun, one of those small towns full of eccentric people catering to the tourism trade. Most of the people you meet aren’t from the island. Native islanders are called Conchs, when you live there seven years you become an honorary ‘Freshwater Conch’. Not many people are conchs though, there seems to be a lot of turnover. From what I’ve seen of property values and cost of living, its no wonder. Maybe its not too bad to the big city fags; but when I’m using to renting a 3 bedroom house for around $650/month; paying $1400 for a 1 bedroom efficiency is unbelievable.

What else is there? Mostly shopping and eating; there are watersports and fishing if you want to get out in the water; but the rocky beaches weren’t appealing to me. Its great for a few days to get away; after about 5 days you’re ready to go home and show off your tan. Since you walk everywhere, you get to see lots of houses with nicely decorated ‘yards’ (no grass, lots of plants, and very very tiny). The foliage down there is beautiful though, as long as you go down when they aren’t recovering from a hurricane.

Anyhow, I’ll admit I was kind of relieved to get back home and nurse my deflated wallet for a while. Maybe when I’ll win the lottery I’ll move down there and open my own mini-bathhouse…

People Are Too Kind

Ding dong the dick is dead! Fuck you Falwell! I hope your fat ass is burning in hell right now, wondering stupidly why Matthew Shepard isn’t there.

Matt Foreman, executive director of National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, extended condolences to those close to Falwell, but added: “Unfortunately, we will always remember him as a founder and leader of America’s anti-gay industry, someone who exacerbated the nation’s appalling response to the onslaught of the AIDS epidemic, someone who demonized and vilified us for political gain and someone who used religion to divide rather than unite our nation.”

Jesus Take the Fire

My Waycross GA correspondant KD updates us on the still raging fires. .
and the rest o the pix here

these are some more pics of the fire…one of my buddies was talking about how beautiful the fire pics are and I do have to say that it is sorta awesome…I really like the one from above the forest…you can see the trees that it has destroyed standing like black sticks stuck into the ground…damn…I need to make this into a coffee table book…hell, I’ll just take some more shots of the dirty firemen….

jesus take the fire

kd

Pretty Isn’t the Point

Two consecutive weekends with sun drenched days of outdoor frolicking.

First up, last weekend was the Howeird Street Fair, followed by us crashing a superhero themed benefit at Truck, which somehow ended up in the BAR. My Fucked Up Fairy outfit was almost scant enough to keep me cool. Almost.

Last weekend Crazy D gets credit for planning a lovely day in the park in a sorta secluded spot. I stupidly believed the weatherperson’s prediction of fog and coldness. Suffice to say I wasn’t prepared for the blistering warmth and so brought no shorts, and was only wearing a jock under my jeans.

But at least it matched my tube socks. Pictures here.