Walking Steak

So with my cruise just one measly month away, I’m having the prerequisitie and pre-programmed snit re: my bod. I know. But it is true that lately I’ve felt uber bloated, like a snake that has swallowed a fat elephant – still skinny everywhere else, but bulging in the middle.

So I’ve been looking at detox/cleansing fasts, liquid diets etc, just to declog my pipes and get down to the usual whip-thin self I’m used to. Co-worker sent me a guide to liquid diets in a yoga magazine, and as informative as it was, it was the following reader comment that made me laugh hard for about 5 minutes, probably burning a few calories in the process.

Jeri

I am doing the 3 day juice fast, but I introduced it to my body by eating raw fruits and veggies 2 days before the juicing and I will work my body out of it the same way. My first meal will be soup . If I feel good I will steam up some fruits and veggies with rice. I hope I’m able to drink my yerba and eat some white fish by the 8th day. I started this with a friend so its helped me get through it. She doeant have a phone so we talk about it over MySpace. Its funny, the things we crave. She really funny, she imagined walking steak. ME, its been slurpies ( never drink those things, not since I was a kid), and sesame sticks (never eat those either).

Day 1; I was really irritable that day. But I made it trough the day without even realizing it until it was bedtime. I practiced Ashtanga/flow that day. Got my ass kicked, but I also haven’t been practicing much at all the past 6 months-that makes me very sad. Sometimes we just get into a rut.

Oh, and for the first 2 days I had horrible headaches by the evening.

Day 2; felt like shit. It was a tough day. My head makes this congested, ringing sound and it feels airy.

Day 3;I loaded up on more water and went on a bike ride, later I went to bed next to my (annoying) boyfriend. He is really horny, but I dont feel like having sex right now. Sex is out the window for me since the fast. I was delirious all day. But I have a lot of shit to figure out so I sorted a lot out that day too.

Day 4;
Tired of the juice. Still smoking pot.

Good luck, you can do this. Its really about fighting your desires. My boyfriend cooked a delicious meal and basically ate it in front of me (he doesn’t really think about his environment). But I fought through it because I’m a warrior!

I think it’ll be good from here on out. I can feel it. My head feels good, I feel light, free. I was in a car accident so my neck is detoxing too. It hurts but hopefully it will help me when I’m an old woman.

Peace!

Dial It Dammit

First, enemies of same sex marriage stated that a state poll (years old but whatever) show majority opposition to same sex marriage.  Then today I see a poll showing a slim majority of Californians in favor of legal same sex marriage, and of course the right wing nutjobs are now referencing some other poll showing marginal majority for the nay-sayers.

As Whoopi Goldberg said about the movie Showgirls, “I haven’t seen this many poles (polls) abused since World War I”.

Damn that joke doesn’t really work out in print.

Anyway, put down the internets a sec and phone the gov’s poll.

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The Governor’s office has set up a hot line public opinion vote on the recent Supreme Court decision.  Call and vote your support. There are supposedly more votes in OPPOSITION than to support currently.

To vote in support of the California Supreme Court’s decision on LGBT marriage, call the Governor’s office:

1. call 1-916-445-2841
2. press options 1 (english)  5 (to vote), 1 (LGBT issue), 1 (vote yes)

Fully automated and NOT limited to CALIFORNIA voters.

It couldn’t be easier to vote… please take 15 seconds right now to do it! Pass it on!!!

An Engineer’s Guide to Cats

God I’ve become that guy that blogs about fuckin’ cats.

This is still pretty cool tho.

Konichiwa Bitches

Robyn plays this weekend here in San Francisco. Please go, but if you get between me and the front of the stage, I will cut a bitch.

(Entertainment Weekly) — If there were any justice, the divas who’ve been trading off the No. 1 slot — Mariah, Madonna, and newcomer Leona Lewis — would also be slugging it out with a platinum-blond dark horse from Scandinavia.

Enter Sweden’s Robyn, who arrives Stateside with “Robyn,” an album that’s a veritable parade of Songs of the Summer.

After landing a few mediocre teen-pop hits in the ’90s (namely “Show Me Love”), she’s forsaken her white-soul dullness for hooky dance-pop greatness with help from electro-favoring fellow Swedes like the Teddybears and the Knife.

From the girly hip-hop of ”Konichiwa Bitches” to the Eurodisco defiance of ”With Every Heartbeat,” she’s developed a real backbone to go with that asymmetrical ‘do.

Not since Pink’s “M!ssundaztood” has an easily dismissed young thrush made so unexpected a leap to career artist.

That comparison starts with Robyn’s first single, ”Handle Me” — a less nasty but even hookier version of Pink’s lounge-lizard-repelling “U + Ur Hand.”

But she hardly sticks to playing a tough cookie: The next song, “Bum Like You,” offers an amusing, knowing lesson in How to Fall for a Jerk 101.

Meanwhile, in the pensive, timbales-’n'-synths-driven “Who’s That Girl,” Robyn decries her guy’s impossible standards.

“Good girls are pretty, like, all the time,” she sings. “I’m just pretty some of the time.”

Her album, however? Fantastic all of the time.

The Answer Would Be ‘No’

This is totally safe for work, unless snorting in laughter is against company policy.  Affectation or dysfunction? I vote the latter.